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Finally got home on the evening of May 15th, after 8 nights in the hospital. They were being extra careful with me as I had some neurological symptoms when I went into the hospital that they had to make sure were not caused by any stray cancer cells finding their way into my neurological bits and bobs. I was MRI'ed, CT'ed and ultrasounded every which way. I had my blood, spinal fluid and every other conceivable body thing tested. Great news is that none of it came up positive for cancer. I am still dealing with my one tumour in the centre of my chest. Phew...

Because everything came back negative however the Dr's have decided my 'issues' must have been caused by the chemo so they are taking me off of RICE and putting me back on CHOPR. this too has positives and negatives.

I was put on RICE because of the size of my still remaining tumour and the idea that they should switch it up at that point to ensure we got it all. My first initial reaction when they told me was but the CHOP was not working! It was in fact working very well and most people don't get a glimpse inside their body after four treatments. They have to wait until all six are done. So we don't actually know if we had not changed over to RICE what would have happened. Either way, I don't have much of a choice as the RICE clearly affected me and we certainly don't want to go down that road again. There are plenty of other second line treatments after CHOPR so I am not worried. It was doing it's job, now we are just going to let it finish what it started.

The best part about going to back to CHOPR though is the number of treatments. I have one this week (probably Wednesday) and then only ONE more! That's right. After Wednesday I will have one down and one to go. I know you are with me in thinking that the last two will be the ones to do it - they will blast the last few bits out and I will be into a summer of recovery and good health.

I won't lie, it has not been the easiest of weeks. Spending Mother's Day and my birthday in the hospital were low points in this process for sure. And there is not even a BUT this time. I have no story, no big revelation, no silver lining. And maybe that is the point. we all come to a place - and it is totally OK to say this out loud - that every so often we are allowed to say to  ourselves - This Sucks. It really, really sucks.

And then... your kids give you their home made cards.

Thanks for all your love, concern, help. Prayers, generosity and love. And love. And love.