Keep or Change

First I would like to welcome Mrs. Harris's grade five class to my blog. Thanks for checking it out and good luck on your own blogging adventure! I appreciate your support.

Next I would like to apologise to all of you who come here looking for updates and news. It seems that my creative whims come and go. Don asked me why I could not just pop something up about treatment or recovery:

Chemo #4 - boring
Days 1-7- sucky
Days 7- 10- good - Happy Easter!
Day 11 - OMG horrible
Now - feeling much better thank you.

I thought about it for a bit. As much as I have been sharing  my journey with you and keeping everyone in the loop I have also used this to formalise thoughts - put some of this craziness in context - hopefully allow my thought process to evolve, mature, laugh and ultimately grow. So bear with me as I continue on my quest for some humour, silver linings and understanding. Oh and proselytising too.

Today's little ditty is about finding things out about people you know and making choices. It is about life and how we live it. It is about all those sayings - come on we all have them in our back pocket - 'live life to the fullest', 'enjoy each day', 'carpe diem', 'dance like know one is watching'. We throw those around and TRY to emulate those things. They often come out when something happens to someone we care about - 'you just never know', 'things can change so quickly'. Quite often we have the opportunity to reflect and then as the trappings of life catch up to us we fall back into familiar routines. It is no ones fault, it is not that we don't try hard to really make each moment count, it is just what happens.

There is a certain family (lets call them the Smith's) who has recently really made an impact on me. They have always been very kind and attentive, helpful, gracious and well, you just can't find a single thing that is not nice about them. (Actually amazingly there are a number of people who I am so lucky to say fall into this category in my life) But getting back to this particular family; not only are they wonderful human beings, I really admire the way they live their lives. They focus on family time. They always have a calmness and contentment and a great sense of humour about them and I have never once heard a complaint - although they are happy to listen to mine and offer help or assistance. I always wondered how or why they were just so darn happy - was it faith? Their parents influence? The joy of their children????

And while I am not ruling out any of the above, at about the halfway point in my treatment Mrs. Smith shared something that in my mind anyways, gave me some insight into their lives and how they choose to live them.

On September 11, 2001 Mr. and Mr. Smith lived in New York. That morning Mrs. Smith went into work early. Leaving her husband snuggled in bed. Mr. Smith woke some time later - the alarm had failed to go off. He quickly jumped out of bed and raced out of their apartment. He did not get very far as the doorman to their building stopped him and told him that 'something' had happened downtown and traffic was really bad. He should just stay  home. Of course we all know what happened that morning to the twin towers. And as I am sure you are one step ahead of me; because of an alarm clock and a helpful doorman Mr. Smith did not go in to work that day at World Trade Centre One.

While this story in itself is one that presents us with many things to discuss and talk about, it is what happened after that to me is truly remarkable. The Smiths were faced with adversity and the stark realisation that but for minutes on an alarm clock their lives could have been very different. They packed up and moved out of New York (Originally from Vancouver they relocated to the West Coast but down south), but something still was not quite right. Then they developed the philosophy that they continue to live by today. Keep or Change.

As I mentioned before the hardest part of living in the moment is actually doing that - there are so many logistics. But the Smith's philosophy of Keep or Change really can override some of those difficulties. Ultimately the Smith's travelled the world and then found themselves back in Vancouver, had two beautiful children and continue to live in the moment and embrace life and those of us lucky to be a part of theirs.

The Smiths take the time to reevaluate their lives - Keep or Change? Sometimes the 'change' is simple or self led - sometimes it is larger, fundamental or has larger effects on their lives as a whole. Sometimes 'keeping' means not only acceptance but also compromise and understanding.

I like it, A LOT. I like that it gives one a simple system of checks and balances. Like a pro and con list. I like that while some of those things on the change list might look insurmountable - at least it gives you a starting point - an awareness, a knowledge. And we are all familiar with the saying 'knowing is half the battle'.

What would you Keep or Change?

Thank you for soup for laughs, for tea. Thank you for a new 'hairstyle'. Thanks for love and emails and more soup and Shepard's pie. Thanks for cookies (I did share with my kids after all) and thanks for all the other delicious treats and hearty wholesome food that has helped me heal. Thanks for flowers, those delivered and those popping up everywhere. Cherry blossoms never cease to thrill me year after year (Am I making myself sound old?) And thank you for continued prayers, love, support, meditations, sage burnings and everything else. Thank you to my book club and to special friends S & T . And thank you to the Smiths - who I hope will not mind me sharing their story and who have humbled me with their generosity, propensity to say YES  and kindness to my kids.

P.S - Had a CT scan on the 10th. PET scan on the 20th. Meet with the Dr.s on the 23 to find out results. Fingers crossed everybody that I get the 'all clear' to continue with current treatment and have chemo #5 and 6. Either way I will be having my next chemo on the 24th. Current course or revised. xo