"Whoop Whoop" - V.G

Chemo is done!! I actually just cheered for the first time today when another woman came up to me. She approached me at a table and rubbed her short hair. "This will be you this time next year" she said with a huge grin.

She asked about my chemo and I told her I had had my last one. She cheered and raised her arms. Her joy was infecttious and I found myself allowing myself to cheer along. It was great - I have been tentative about celebrateing, concerned about letting myself get to hopeful. But today I learned something about embracing the moment - again.

It IS a huge accomplishment to be at this stage. Six months of treatment behind me. It is amazing. And I do deserve to embrace and relish that this stage is done.

Like I said in the last post we are going into a 'new normal'. We will know more about what the summer looks like in the next coupls of weeks. I have all of my testing on July 5 & 6th. Then see my doctors the following week on the 11th.

Thanks for hanging with me - I have realized I am certainly not a 'daily blogger' and I appreciate you all hanging in  there.

Thanks for food, care, treats, time, and always LOVE for me and my family.

Thanks Riders!

It was pouring rain when I was picked up at 6am. In a car with four other excited cheerleaders on our way out to watch the Ride to Conquer Cancer and cheers on our friend Vicki her husband ond others.
The rain did not bother us much - not as much as it would bother the 4000 riders that gave their weekends to ride from Vancouver to Seattle to raise $ for cancer.

They whizzed by quickly - lots of riders had yellow flags on their bikes - that meant they were survivors. A catagory I am hoping to join very soon.

We caught a glimpse of our friend and she of us - mere seconds .but so so worth it.

It was awesome and uplifting and inspiring to see her ride by with her yellow flag. Way to go Vicki and way to go riders. Thanks.

Goodbye Chemo

Tomorrow at 12:15 I start my last scheduled chemo. It is a bittersweet feeling. Sounds strange I am sure. I am absolutely thrilled that this is the last time I have to go through the process and the aftermath. Thrilled that this part of my journey has come to an end.

But it comes with some hesitation. As mentioned previously, there is a small level of comfort in knowing what comes next. In having a schedule, in having a count down. I'm at the end of my countdown -  Don't get me wrong, it is not like I am not celebrating it's just that I recognise I will have a 'new normal' and I don't know what it looks like yet. For someone like me, who tends to be logistical in thinking that can be kind of unsettling.

I know that I have about three weeks after tomorrow to recover. Then I will get tested again, CT, PET, and MRI. I will get the results in week four. And we will go from there. I have every confidence that by the beginning of August I will be well on my way to healing. There is of course a possibility that I will have to have further treatment but we will deal with that if it comes up. For now I am focusing on some nasty drugs that I will get tomorrow that will speed their way to what may remain of my cancer. Those drugs will take one last kick at the tumour and chase it out of my body once and for all.

I have come to realise that this journey is not just one that will end when my chemo ends. This journey will continue. Every three months when I get retested. Then every year. Then every five years. I am in for a long relationship with Lymphoma and the cancer agency, something I had not considered when this all began. I realise I have to get my head around that. There is a certain level of acceptance I will have to come to terms with. I will have to find and embrace my 'new normal'. I will also have to come to terms with the fact that I am a survivor.

Thank you everyone for joining my so far on this part of my journey - being able to share this with you has been very good for me and has allowed me to process a lot of this. Thank you for your continued support, treats, food, drink, company- and most importantly, LOVE.